Thursday, February 19, 2009

Comicbook Rockstar 6: sixsixsix

Lift the curse of those feelings which oppress men, which force them into wars they do not want, and consign them to work from whose fruits they never benefit Assume within oneself perversion and crime, not as exclusive values, but as a prelude to their integration into the totality of humanity. Participate in the destruction of a world as it presently exists, with eyes open to the world which is yet to be.

We were the losers of Universe K. Cowboy Outcasts of the Lost Earth. The Superheroes that came out of the Left Field of Reality. The Bad News Bears of the Multiverse. Operation: TenTon.

The hard luck veterans of the twenty-thousand mind war, infinity constantly just a hair's breadth from ultimate annihilation from the most sinister of forces. Hatred, corruption, crime, and genocidal ideologies slammed at the doors of this world and every Wednesday the battle would begin again and again, forever fighting the good fight.

We're a diverse pantheon of the hopeful creative individual, imagination given flesh. Within our minds we have the power of epic conflict that is begging to be set free. These very words are the magic formula I must constantly type in order to keep pace with these mighty beings. But our powers came with a price. A charge. A duty. A holy mission. A promise.

We must keep every malevolent spirit in all of creation from spilling forth from the darkness. The Devil is banging on our souls and there we sit like a lock on a mighty chain that stretches across this country and even across an entire ocean. Hell was seeping through the crack called New Jersey.

I'm the NYC Kid and, along with my sidekick Spider, I patrol the East Village, keeping a lockdown on things, the girls and the bars in particular. By day Im holed up with Captain Mad Dog Estes. He has a complex out in Jersey, hidden among the suburbs. Hes a natural leader, one you didnt mind following into a showdown with the devil. He keeps his family close, with an eternal eye out for the looming apocalypse. On the other side of town, Doc. Malbrough sits with a vigilant watch over his baby girl and his Mrs., a sixgun in each hand. Kai-Zen, the triads former ninja assassin, and J.B., the tough as nails private dick, are stationed a few miles away, protecting the armory. (The selection of goggles is astounding, not to mention disguises for undercover work. Essential in the biz.) Speaking of undercover, Statutory Browns in deep undercover work, infiltrating and penetrating certain key areas of local Jersey corruption.

MC Samurai keeps a vigilant watch over fuckin Baaahhhston, while honing his swordsmanship at his mountain temple. Purple Turtle? Well, he operates just outside Philly, from within a nuclear power plant, where its said his bizarrepowersoriginated. Around the corner is the undercover paramilitary superagent I can only refer to as Project: Khoi. Suffice to say, Phillys covered.

Spreading further out across the country, over in Ohio, we find Major Freeman, who, not only hosts a bezerker fourth dimensional Viking God within himself, but also toils endlessly, preparing the fallout shelters and a backup bunker from which we can defend the world if the evil is ever able to break through. We then turn to the mad genius of Chicago, Dr. Phalex. Surely the power to warp the very fabric of reality could not be in safer hands. When backups needed, the Windy City can also depend on modern day pulp hero, Mr. Burnham. Whether its mummy mobsters or demonic pirates, Blazin Burnhams got it covered with a southpaw and a grin. Prof. Polacek, better known as the Mysterious Minotaur, gets in on the action in Chi-town when hes not scouring spell books, searching for some way to keep the wicked hordes at bay.

A little further out, deep in the Wild Plains of Imagination, Utah, Doug Hills wrestles the Savage Cave Giants, the Ferocious Feral Men, and the Cutesy Cosmic Cheerleaders from Malibu X. Its true. Lucky guy. And I said across an ocean, did I not? Masters, Jason Masters. Currently stationed in South Africa, the man has seen it all. He rocknrolls his way through certain doom and dances out of the room with a deadly karate chop or a devastatingly charming smile. And what group would be complete without the cowboy rogue we call Our Man Mitch. Lee found him wrasslin monsters from the badlands, before finishing up early enough to rock the stage of Mollys Drinkin Shack. Last we saw, he tossed his belongings into the back of his hotrod and blazed down the highway to rocknroll hell. Fire is rocknroll, my friend. Fireis rocknroll.

The devil is asking me to let him out. Hes showing me all that he can offer, for all of us. The accomplishments we can achieve if only I was to say it would be okaybut its not. I cant. The bastard knows Im the weak one though. He visits me every day, just to whisper in my ear all the reasons I should just give in, just give it up and let it all come to me and all of us, but at what cost. So I run and superspeed and leap and jump and flip away, hoping that his voice wont follow, wont seep into my brain and draw me back to where Ill be weak and helpless before his power.

I feel his pull as I bounce through the city, so I soar across the East River and fly on home. Im holed up on Long Island and gripping the sides of my keyboard with all my might. Dont. And suddenly I feel ashamed. Ashamed at being so weak. What would the others think of me? Wasnt I one of them? Wasnt I strong enough to march into battle beside them? I was, goddammit. My mind began to clear and I remembered who I was. I looked around at my family and friends, the people who were there when I grew up and first headed into the eternal struggle. I pledged my service to the betterment of mankind in this very town, in this very house, in the very room I am sitting here typing this.

I was bathed in the radiant light of enlightenment and it dawned on me that we didnt need the devil to get what we wanted. We just need to build and work and fight for our creations in the world around us. Hokey mumbo jumbo about potential and the beauty of creation came too, but I was busying glimpsing the future, watching the parties and fun wed be having. Im no divine being, just a man. A superman, like my brothers in arms.



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