Outsiders of normal society. Earth, Fire, Water, Air/Metal. Savage, Prince, Robot, Cowboy.
Sub-Mariner. Half human. World War 2. America as enemy. The Angel. Crime-fighter. Cape of Mercury.
Hitler Invades Poland September 1st. First World Science Fiction Convention. Gone With the Wind & Wizard of Oz. Manhattan Project.
Wife and kids, family used as force, revolutionary
If evil sticks to the plan, plays the game, it can be charted and countered.
Spacemen, luck vs caution, knowledge vs experience
Plants as dominant life form
Appearances can be deceiving
Ham radio geek military info
Robots male ego job providing freeing man from drudgery into artistic pursuit. Anger over the threat, fuels creativity. Enlightenment to larger picture allows individual to turn around and craft a path opposite the previous thrust of creativity. A balance here could provide a equilibrium to mankind's mental state. A harmony of opposing forces, stably burning.
Size difference, scale relations, stories told, thought to be interconnected, operating at different levels of reality.
Anti-technoligical message. Science as propaganda, promoting peace. Prison as eden. Puppet power pawn deflate. Tom and Zack fighting off attacks from Kang. Shield Agent and Stark Techxpert, taking out runaway technology.
Tom "Cap's Cuz" tries too hard. He's too eager. Wants approval. Zack is too cocky, too invested in his own skills to think outside himself. Both self-centered, learn the human fatalities of superhuman attacks.
But I've been working despite the loss of my PowerBook. My phone's been running a little hot lately. So I decided to stay in tonight. I couldn't do it. I went out to Odessa to get food and that was rough enough.
I just freeze up in public. So aware that I'm not comfortable, thinking of how I walk, sit, talk, breathe. Examining how I must appear to those around me. Unable to just relax and be natural, every moment is spent dissecting my very being.
So it gets hard to relate because I assume I'm vastly superior to others because of my intense self-awareness. No one else can see the structure that our interactions, our social lives, our whole damn society rests upon. I get so much information from casual conversation, I interpret actions to fit a preconcieved notion, and then I propagate my own intense misery.
I take small slights in major ways, holding grudges and bitterness. I used to anyways. I'm trying to leave that behind me. I realize it's me, it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. I can't relate because others are human beings, part of mankind, and therefore society, which we all know is the true enemy.
The fabricated rules of norm which we all must adhere to don't apply to me. I've stepped outside reality and watch the game from afar. I have very little interest in returning to the game as well. I just don't see the point.
And hopefully this point will arise now. I'm prepping myself for a grand adventure, and will hopefully return to a new, more stable, lifestyle when I get back. Working on Tower of Brahma chapter 55, 9 more to go. Scary that after 5 years it'll be done. Wrote an awesome bit about my dad which was accidently discarded by my rogue thumb. Wound up as my last post.
Still working on the comic pitches but I have so much passion for these ideas that I want to really develop them. For anyone reading this, please post a comment to let me know if you read comics and if not what would give you incentive to start?
Would making them cheap, disposible, and based in specific areas of New York City, picked up from subway stations, or band flyer tables, etc., would that make people give reading them a shot?
I just also have to say I love polish food and 50's comics.
K
Xenophobia, illusion of similarity
External leading to internal
Zealousness leads to failure
Science salvation
A tech off
A complex of some sort. A stable base of operations that should feel familiar. Jim Lawson feels more at home there. Some sort of extreme edge of a reality tear. A shape. Circle?
Ultron, Leader, Kang steal technology that "cures" the Hulk. Leads them to create monsters to defeat the present.
Bruce should be the old hand scientist. More wild and reckless. Indestrutible guinea pig and battler of the beasts. He's thankful to Jim but feels obligated to help. Kind of wants out and on his own.
Hank is just Hank. Moody, eccentric, paranoid, yet brilliant. He represents the internal, trying to repair the broken inside. Shrinking compacts his body, makes him invisible, less of him in the world.
Jim, nervous, a young "lifer" scientist, who has had some successed based on combining unorthodox sciences. He's a numbers guy and does the hard science, Bruce pushes him in the right direction, and Hank makes it happen.
Ultron: evil AI. Cyborg. Robot. Computers. 1 & 0.
Leader: pushing science too far. Monsters. Reptile.
Kang: conqueror, mastermind, general. Time travel.
I lost my laptop and all my photos and work and writing. So I've been trying to get my old Dell laptop running, and reading some old writing of mine. I used this computer when I first moved to NYC. And the writing dates as far back as senior year of high school.
It feels good seeing this old stuff, to be reading my thoughts uncensored by who I've become. I feel like I've been struggling for so long to get back to who I was way back when. I was always happy-go-lucky and no one could get me down for long.
And moment by moment I feel it coming back. I talk to strangers, I give money and chat with the homeless, I have great people in my life who love me. I finally have firmly, and boldy stood up to the two bullies in my life, my dad and my boss.
My dad is just a self-absorbed asshole and he texted (for the first time ever) to ask me to stay over after Xmas but I had to go back to work. When I told him that he wrote back 'fuck off scum' @hugnkiss@. That was pretty much the final straw.
When I was 11 he told me he wouldn't be some sort of involved father. When I was in college him and my mom got into fights over me. When I was 25 my parents split and no longer obligated to talk to him we let two years go by without talking. When we did he then told me that if it wasn't for staying with my mom and us that he would be rich and happy with someone else, and on father's day this year, he looked me in the eyes and said "you, you're fucked".
I knew it was projection, I knew it was the scotch and resentment bubbling up together that let that loose. And I felt pity for him. He was sad and lonely. But how much do I have to do for someone who's looked at me with nothing but resentment, treated me like he was a jealous sibling rather than a healthy, supportive, proud father.
So I asked him to try and be nice to me. Then after a few drinks and past midnight, I texted him asking if we needed to fight. I'd fight him, i'd kick the shit out of him, and when he lie on the ground bleeding i'd help him up, hoping that he'd have a deeper understanding of who I am. I'm not fucking around anymore.
This is my life and it's moving forward, and I will not be disrespected. So when my boss started giving me shit on the phone for things that were not my fault, speaking to me like a dumb child, I stopped him short, replied firmly the details, and got it done. All without freaking out, which is very much what I wanted to do every other time he'd enrage me with just a quick offhanded comment.
So yeah, my laptop dies, and I stand up for myself. There is an odd connection between computers and my dad. Not sure what exactly but I guess I associate them with him, and now I'm kicking it old school, with my laptop and my attitude.
Happy New Year!
K
