Love

How many times does something have to die in order for it to stay dead? How much damage does it take in order for you to finally let go and accept that some things are not within your reach? How can I let my dream of falling in love rest in peace forever?

It's the dream really. The ideal that lingers and resists against all forces. That impossible, unattainable goal, the hope that there's this cosmic union that is, despite all the evidence presented, actually achievable in this lonely world. Why does it still dwell inside me?

Will I give up the will to live, surrender to hopelessness, once and for all plunge into death so I can at last stop trying and struggling to find a person to connect to? A best friend, a lover, a counterpart that will make me feel complete...whole.

I think that it's because I want it, seek it out, look for it in every opportunity presented to me. Trying to grasp something that is ethereal and beyond me. Holding onto a person so tight that I suffocate the life from them. Angry and frustrated that they are a square peg that does not fit my round hole world.

Is it the void within myself that I hunger to fill? The emptiness my upbringing created? The loss and desire for connection that I need so much, that seems vital to my existence. As if I could somehow become who I want to be once I find that one, the person who'll bring out the best in me, that'll silence the self-doubt that plagues me.

So I look to myself. What can I do to be happy? To be complete? I throw in all manner of distracting creative endeavors. Toss fiction and life experience deep into the black hole inside myself. Watch as it is consumed and then I want for more afterwards, always needing more and more, satisfaction never gained.

I discount family and friendships. Dismiss them as worthless interactions that distract me for the moment. If I can't count on love, how can I possibly expect casual personal encounters to make me happy? The intimacy of a loved one is no more than a narcotic, a pleasant chemical reaction that feeds me for now, lost upon disembarking.

If this is what we were meant to figure out, the riddle, the meaning of life, then I find I am lacking. I don't have an answer, a hypothesis, nary a theory to be found. And to be quite frank, I don't want to work at figuring it out anymore.

Love, just let me fucking be, go fuck off and die.

My Relationship With (500) Days of Summer

So I finally watched the modern alt love story that seems to have captured the youth of today, (500) Days of Summer. A disjointed love story that jumps around to different moments of a relationship between a underachieving boy and free-spirited girl.

I was glad to break up with this movie when it was over. Divorce myself from its heavy handed idealizing of a retro/vintage manic pixie and the brooding disgruntled passive aggressive slacker. From the groan-worthy voice over, to the quirky storytelling tricks, to the over-the-top breaking the fourth wall and narrative Hall & Oates dance number.

Much like Tom () saw Summer (Zooey Deschanel) in one light when remisicing about their relationship, I could look back and see all its flaws and in your face editing. But I could also see small, intimate moments of a true relationship being developed and falling apart.

Awkward lines of dialogue, subtle moments of questionable, what does it mean gestures, sometimes painting both characters in a overly flattering light and sometimes showing their blatant flaws. Cute, inventive moments of young love (Ikea role-playing, drawing LA's skyline on her forearm), mixed with harsh glances and forced personality quirks clashing.

This movie is much about perception, an idea it plays with utilizing its unconventional structure, showing scenes more than once with polar opposite emotional impact. Were they in love? Was he forcing it, trying to hard to control the relationship? Or was she aloof, a cold, detached sociopath who could never love anyone?

In the end you're left with the idea that this movie may be named after Summer, but it's Tom's movie, his journey into the soul crushing world of love & relationships. Overly idealistic romantic obsessiveness is not love, despite knowing, feeling a need to connect deeper, to want to hold on to that dynamic with another person.

Summer's movie would have been the complete opposite, probably showing Tom as overbearing and insensitive to the reality of their situation (or perhaps I'm merely projecting my own thoughts on relationships here). But the idea that she learned to love on a deeper level, and he learned to dispel that fairy tale romantic tendency, this is the truth here.

Every relationship changes you. With different people we act differently. Sometimes we're the lover, sometimes the withdrawn one. Each person in our lives shows us something new, an altered perspective. Embracing that, learning from it, and yet remaining open to our original ideas and feelings, well, that's the point of it all, right?

I may not love (500) Days of Summer, but we had fun, experienced highs and lows, and I know a bit more about myself now that we're no longer together.

And maybe one day, I'll want to go back and revisit it, thinking back on the good times, but for now, I'm moving on.

K

Pride & Predjudice & Zombies Graphic Novel Review

I'm not one for Victorian Literature. I've never read the original book, nor have I read any other book from that era. I don't find myself drawn towards the polite society of Imperial England in any way.

And to add the hipster factor of a novel that slips in a pop culture staple like zombies and markets the book to the Urban Outfitter consumer, who no doubt took a Lit class or two, and has seen their share of zombie movies, well I was borderline offended at the whole idea.

Part of me says "Yeah! Take that you snobby intellectuals!", revelling in the slap in the face that is adapting a classic book with a pop culture spin. And part of me thinks, "How dare you defile such a classic by dumbing it down for the 'tweens of today!"

That said, I got a chance to read the graphic novel adaptation by and illsutrated by , published by DelRay. I found, that with no real knowledge of the original story I was a bit confused by who was who. I got the gist of the five daughters who were conflicted by finding husbands and the ins and outs of British Society.

I enjoyed the kung fu backstory and the zombie fight scenes were very well executed in the art and somewhat in the story, but they did seem to have the air of just being tacked on as a gimmick when things got too serious or dry. And man, was there a lot of dry spots in here.

Letters sent back and forth, ladies and lords, estates mentioned and never really explained, I felt like I was missing a fair amount of backstory. But I got the basic idea down, that the most kickass of the Bennet sisters, who's pride and prejudice towards a soldier and lord of a well to do family, made her scorn the man unjustly.

And in the end they get together and live happily ever after. Spoiler! But I found myself barely able to keep myself invested enough to make it through the graphic novel despite the exquisite drawings and fluid action rendered by . It all felt very contrived and forced inbetween fluid moments of storytelling.

I'd be interested to see what was changed from not only the original story but also the prose zombie version. But not that much. There's too many other interesting comics and/or other classic literature that calls me forth.

I am curious about Sense & Sensibilty & SeaMonsters, but that's just cause SeaMonsters are significantly cooler than zombies.

K

Indie Club Notes

Digital Fim

Vlog movie & promotion review w/interview.
Mercury Men

***
Fashion

Rocket Science 5 Min Audio Interview.
Article: Fashion Blogger/Photographer/Model

***
Podcast

Phil Gelatt interview podcast. Ep. Alpha. (Rick Lacey co-star) 15 min discussion plug, 30 min interview, 15 min intro & outro. Plugs.

Article: Mike Mooch?
Research on T-shirt sites. Threadless. Warren Ellis.
How do they work, sales, price?
At least his reviews and I can delve more into the finances.

T-Shirt Idea
Michael Keaton's face
BATMAN (BRUCE?)

Clint Eastwood
PUNK?

Bruce Campbell
GROOVY

Drunk Celebs

***
Music

Elizabeth Seward. Musician. Self-Promoting. Poetry. mp3 and music video.

Grant & Warren Documentaries.

***
Sound Bytes of us reading lines of dialogue from random comics. Re-mixing it for a Write Club theme. Gary guitars. Cousin's beat.

Boston's going to start providing us with a webcomic for the webseries he's going to shoot in August, Gamers Wanted. Should help kick off the webcomic material.

I really want to start WCWWFX as soon as we can. Hopefully right after a legit site relaunch. I have the idea for page strips. Just need to get it going and then have guest artists do a page every week.

Maybe go daily with the Funnies when I can.

As for the site, I emailed Ron. Figure I'll get him out for drinks soon and talk it over with him.

I updated the articles page with the current material. I started a Tumblr for it. Need to come up with a better look before I pimp it.

I'm thinking we need ARTICLES, WEBCOMICS, REVIEWS, EPISODES, CONTACT up top as our main categories, but then a BLOG page to get updated daily, maybe multiple times a day. Linked to Tumblr or Blogspot feed. Both. Feed it into Twitter & Facebook.

Before that I'm thinking Comic Club after Indie, to really geek out and prepare for San Diego. Total superhero overload! But get more consistent with calendar of events and news.

Maybe we need to change it as soon as Iron Man 2? Free Comic Book Day would have been good but too soon. Ugh.

I need to see Kick-Ass and the Losers. May get to see Iron Man 2 early. Will do a review.

I fucking need internet at my apt. Or at least a good wifi spot with an outlet.

Shang Chi Notes

Healing Hands of Shang-Chi
Midnight Sun
Killraven
Alien Menace
Mandarin, Maklu
Fin Fang Foom
Invasion
Five Rings

Superhuman kung fu.
Repentance.
Controlling emotions.
Fu Manchu was Makluan.
Part Dragon.
The Mandarin, part Makulan.
Five rings vs Five rings
Midnight Sun. Communicates through fighting.
Elemental superfighting.
Mandarin destroys M'Nai.
Throws him to Earth.
Shang-Chi fights him to learn what happened to him.
KillRaven. Disciple. Teaching. Peace.
An Invasion is coming. The Mandarin bringing a planetfull of Makulans. A fleet of giant space dragons.
Shang-Chi prepares himself. Finds the five rings. Iron Man. (Or War Machine, or Stark Tech guard. NinjaBot. StarkFujikawa.)
Power Cosmic.
KillRaven. DragonSlayer.
Black Knight.
KillRaven goes to train with another warrior. Brooklyn, Iron Fist. White Tiger. Daughters of the Dragon. Daredevil. The Hand. Elektra. Urban Ninja.

Wendigo. Sasquatch. Wolverine. Hulk. The woods, the wild. Hitchhiking. X-Mansion. Man-Thing. Monsters. Pegasus. DarkHawk. Nova. Cosmic.

Guardians of the Galaxy. StarFox. Space opera.
Kree. S.W.O.R.D. Captain Marvel.

***

Marvel Two-In-One

Two C-list superheroes.
Dr. Strange & Shang-Chi.
Mysticism & Kung Fu.
Intern & Disciple.
Hell & Space.

Spin-Off.
Strange Tales.
Healing Hands of Shang-Chi.

or

Strange Tales focusing on Dean Walker & KillRaven.

The Cosmic Death of ZomboT

Space. Ufo. Metal. Unfazed.
Robot. Driven mad. Unable to process humanity.
Hates its emotions from frustration. Bitterness. Distance.

Grave. Death. Rest. Awake.
Zombie. Screaming pain. Endless hunger for brains.
Hates itself and struggles against the beast. Wants to consume.

Couples on dates, picnics, drive ins, make out point.
Robot creaking horror. Stomping through nature. Tearing out their hearts. Crushing their bodies.
Destruction. Feelings.

Anyone, everyone, random attacks in swift succession, turning all he kills into the undead, who consume all in their path. Plague. The mind.

The woods razed, the cities devoured, their paths cross. Zombie runs, Robot stomps on. Hellfire guitar solo breakdown. Napalm tearing of their bodies, melting tin & searing rotten flesh. A fist of flame rises upwards from the crack in the earth, and crushes both halves together.

Stars aligned and the Underworld shined, a burst of light bounced between, an instant connection with the center of the world. A true monster is born.

***

Wolf Gods & Feral Priests
The last boy alive.
Savage Fenris, chosen vessel for ancient power.

Defenders

Defenders
Hulk
Silver Surfer
Dr. Strange
Namor

Redefine. 3 page pitch.

Dumb superhero
New age intellectual
Occult teacher
Mythological prince

Son of Satan. Valkyrie. Hellcat.
Gargoyle. Moondragon.

Betty Ross
Shala Bal
Clea

Undying Ones.
Yandroth
Dormmamu
Umar

Red Hulk
Terrax
Baron Mordo
Tiger Shark

Marvel Cosmos
Skaar, Daken, Franklin Richards, Bucky
Spider-Girl, Baby Cage, Henry

Zombies, Apes

Champions
Ghost Rider
Angel
Hercules
Namora
Iceman
Black Widow

West Coast Avengers
Drama, reality show, celebrity

Los Angeles
Stadium
Ocean

Public do-gooders

Invisible. Sue Storm. Dr. Doom. Namor. Silver Surfer. Mephisto.

Dr. Doom foiled. Watches Sue.
Mole Man, kids, business.
Negative Zone Day Alone.
Storm & She-Hulk. Emma Frost.
Haiti relief. Namor. Humanity. Air Water. Silver Surfer calls Sue to
cosmic level. Galactus.
Avengers Picnic.

Wasp.

Strange Tales
Dr. Strange, Hellcat, Son of Satan
Ghost Rider, Silver Surfer, Namor
Hulk

Mephisto, Satannish, Celestials, Watcher

SpeedBall
Howard the Duck
Spidey & DD
Sphinx

Slapstick
Civil War

Squirrel Girlfddddf

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